relapse

What a difficult 18 days it's been. Yesterday, I relapsed. I ate something not organic and certainly not healthy for me. The guilt ate away at me all afternoon. I felt sick! It had nothing to do with the wonderful carbs that I had just ingested either. I was disappointed in myself. How could I come so far and do something so stupid. *sigh*

Brings me to the next topic at hand... Yesterday, they were giving a mini marathon of the show Intervention. Have any of you ever watched it? I personally love it! I sit there in complete amazement while the alcoholic chugs mouth wash, the heroine addict licks the blood from her arm after shooting up, or while the stay at home wife sprays dust remover up her nose,(yes, the spray to remove dust particle from your keyboard!) I sit there baffled, wondering how the hell anyone could get to that point.


1. Drugs are bad for you!

2. You are slowly killing yourself

3. It's an expensive habit

4. It makes you do stupid things!

5. Some resort to stealing

6. It's against the law


I can seriously go on with this list. But, I am sure you get the jest of it..

I won't deny, sometimes, I catch myself being a little judgmental. Cursing at the TV when they relapse.. And wondering WTF were they thinking going back to it.. Yesterday a little light went off in my head.. How can I judge someone who falls back into temptation, when I did the same thing.. I know fatty foods are bad for me, they are slowly closing up an artery, they make me fat, they higher my cholesterol, and they make me feel drained! Yet, I was eating nothing but greens, fruits, nuts, and healthy consumption.. I feel more energetic, my pants were looser, and I had lost 9lbs!! After all the good I saw and felt, I still had the yearning for a blue berry muffin, my mouth still watered at the sight of pizza, & I would go crazy passing the sushi bars!

So, now rather than being so judgmental on drug addicts.. A part of me can understand.. If I feel so weak when it comes to something like food, can you imagine how hard it is for something more addicting like drugs and alcohol?


Something to think about...

I am jumping back on the bandwagon. I am going to try my best to workout daily, eat healthy, & make this positive change for me.. If I slip up here and there.. It's okay too. Eventually, I won't need it anymore.



"That's all I have to say about that...."